Hey. It's been a while, hasn't it?

The last eight months have been transformative, but in the smallest ways and largest ways. They’ve snowballed into a million things. It’s almost ironic that it’s been slightly bookended by the suspension of my main account @bygabriellesmith.

That’s right. If you haven’t noticed (and I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t, because I've been shadowbanned!) my main account has been suspended by Instagram. The charge? “Human exploitation”. This just speaks to larger cultural issues around sex positivity, non-monogamy and how shitty legislation trickles down into censorship. We’ll talk about that soon, at some point. For now, keep up with me @whygabriellesmith until this issue is resolved. I intend to keep the account regardless, and may use it as a more candid, and less polished extension of my thoughts.

What has changed in all of this time?

• I’ve realized I’m transitioning from solo polyamory to relationship anarchy. This means a lot of different things. I’m decentralizing romantic relationships in my life. I’m finding more love within friendship.
• In case you didn’t realize, Ivy and I deescalated our relationship. We’re just friends now (or, emotional support ex-girlfriends), and we’re really happy with the change. It took a while, but we’re able to support each other from a healthier space now.
• I’ve continued my effort to decentralize whiteness in my life. Which, has been something I’ve been doing since I was sixteen. This meant a lot of things. For the past eight months, I’ve had a pretty strict “I’m not dating new white people” rule. I found that I had to institute this rule just because the wider non-monogamous community in my area IS so white. I’ve joined a BIPOC community that centralizes love and community, and is building into something so beautiful. I’m also no longer accepting folks in my life who centralize or embody tenets of white supremacy. To me, it doesn’t matter if they’re ignorant of this privilege or what’s going on. Avoidance, defensiveness, fear of open conflict, and so many other tenets of white supremacy culture have deeply harmed me in my relationships. I’m excited to explore this topic more in my writing, especially with how it connects to queerness and non-monogamy.
• Getting my first corporate 9-5 has changed a lot of things for me. While I don’t have a lot of money, for the first time, I have stability. I can afford to take time off. I receive the same amount of money in my bank account twice a month. This has been such a major change to my psyche, I genuinely didn’t realize HOW much I had been living in survival mode for twenty-six years.
• I’m desiring creativity more than ever. Many of you met me as a writer. I think I’ve strayed away from that more than I like. Now I’m trying to figure out how to make time for creativity, which I suppose is adulthood.

What does this mean for Selectively Slutty?

I’m still trying to figure out what I do have space for, but I very much still desire to have this platform to connect with you all! My current goal is for Selectively Slutty to now come out twice a month. So send in your questions! I'm excited to be back.

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